Hello,
How are you doing? I hope last week treated you well. I am happy to write to you again. Well, I am in tears as I write because I mistakenly deleted my first draftðŸ˜
But iz all okay😅.
Last week, I was thinking a lot about different things and a question came to mind.
Have you ever felt that God is leading you to develop yourself in a particular area even though you feel you want to do other things?
I mean you will have to completely shut off some other things you do by the side just to focus on this area. If so, I would love to read from you how that period felt for you.
On my end, I have been fine. Showing up daily regardless. I had an amazing time in church on Sunday.Anyhoo, anyhoo, I want to share with you today a matter that has been in my mind lately: True Forgiveness.
I know you can relate when someone close to you offends you and then it turns into a big conflict. You guys say some harsh words to each other and during that period, communication stops. In some cases, that relationship ends.
However, over time, you convince yourself that you have truly forgiven this person. (plenty water don pass under the bridge)
Unlike before, you can now vibe, gist, and even look out for this person. Nothing negative from your end. It seems that you have truly hacked this forgiveness thing. To the extent that you can boldly say 'let bygones be bygones
Hmm, somehow you check in with yourself and you know that your forgiveness is not complete. You just know it. There is something still going on. Yes, just one thing. That one thing that floods your mind with the exact details of the conflict, that one thing that makes you want to stay away from that person even when it looks like everything is fine, and that one fault you hold back. You have forgiven this person of every other thing but just that one thing. As weird as it sounds, it happens a lot.
Bringing it home again, this one thing may not even be serious when you compare it to the real issue that caused your conflict. You just had to hold on to it because you and I are wired differently. What I hold dear may not be the same for you. Thus, you tell yourself that he/she struck a nerve with that one thing.
Meanwhile, in your corner, you ask yourself repeatedly, ‘am I just being petty for holding back to this hurt '. Maybe it is not a big deal. I can ignore it and move on. This is a big lie. You can't move on that way. If you decide to move on, when the next big fight happens between you and this same person, you will surprise yourself with your reactions. You should deal with this hurt. Fully. Your forgiveness has to be complete.
Well, there may be many ways to address true forgiveness but I know that it is not easy particularly if it was a good relationship that was shared before things turned sour. One thing must be said that on your road to fully exhibiting true forgiveness, it does not necessarily entail going back to the state you were with that individual before you had that conflict. It is best to address your state of heart and mind before thinking of engaging with the person as if nothing ever happened.
Moreover, your aim for true forgiveness should be that when you see or think about this individual, you don't only think of the hurt but rather your decision to love despite all odds
I hear you say 'The Purple Girl, it is not easy' Yes, I feel you, it is not easy. At all. At least not within a man's capacity but with the grace of God. This same God that loves you beyond your flaws(especially the ones people don't see but he sees). A love that is not withheld but graciously given. It is this same love he is calling you to show to others. Is it easy, No. but is it possible with God Yes!
So you must cry daily to God to give you a forgiving spirit. It is a way of telling God you can't do it by yourself and that you need him to help you consciously forgive people. On your part, train your mind and heart to love, look beyond the excesses of others, and for the best in them. Lastly, give it time. God enjoys your process. You will have to learn how to extend grace to others. He is willing to work you through the hurt you feel.
In this new week, I leave you with these few words:
Love and forgiveness require intentionality. Decide to be intentional.
I wish you a great week ahead!
All my love + everything nice.
The Purple Girl.